Last Words.

I go to this website called askaninja.com. People write in and ask a "ninja" questions and he answers them in a web cast. I think it is one of the funniest things out there. So I was watching one that struck me - http://askaninja.com/node/3079 - its called last words check it out. He goes on and does his normal funny stuff but then he says something that made me stop and think. He talks about not letting your life come down to last words. He suggest writing them down now and telling people hey - these are really my last words. Which is not an awful idea considering Pancho Villa, a Mexican revolutionary,was obviously not prepared when he said, "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." But I would like to suggest a different thing. Let the actions of your life be so loud, that at the end, no words are necessary. You don't have to say some long drawn out speech so people will remember you are certain way. Chances are, you may not know the words you are saying are your last. Even if you did manage to get some last words out that were brilliant and amazing, if it didn't match your life, it would not count. What if Chris Farley's last words were; "sorry we never laughed together," or if Hitler said, " I loved everyone." Bottom line, words don't matter, first, last or in between. Its your actions that will tell people how you really think, feel, and believe. What are you DOING to make an impact. Carl Marx had some great last words, "Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough." He said this to his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity. LIVE and DO - don't just talk.

How am I not Dead????

How have we become so irreverent? How have we made God so small? This GREAT HUGE GOD that created the universe desires to spend time with me, longs for me, misses me and loves me. He created me to be with Him. Yet, I CHOOSE to regularly ignore my true souls craving to be with Him. I CHOOSE to do stupid and trivial things instead of spending time with Him. I CHOOSE to ignore the conviction he places on my life. I have held the very word of God in my hands and not been excited about. This Word that the Bible says can strip the forest bare, sharper than a double edge sword, I have held it and not been in awe that God would think enough of me knowing Him that he would arrange for it to be written.
How am I not dead? Not only is God so great, but He is so loving. So loving He CHOOSES not strike me down. HE CHOOSES to forgive me. He CHOOSES to still speak to me. He CHOOSES to love me the same. Wow.... I am not worthy of any of this.
May God help us to remember how HUGE He is so we may not take Him, His word, or His presence for granted.

SIN Happens

In the movie Forest Gump, there is a pretty funny scene where Forest is running across america. He runs through a pile of .... waste..... and someone running with him points it out. Forest's reaction was "it happens" and he just kept running. This is how we need to be in our Christian lives. As Christians we are going to sin - it never fails. We should never use that as an excuse for sinning but we must remember perfection is something for which we strive. It's how we respond to sin that tells how mature of a Christian we are. Sin Happens. We have 2 choices when it does. We can either stop, sit in it and cry about how we are sitting in sin - woe is me I have sinned - or we can say God, I screwed up - please forgive me and keep running towards Him. I have been having trouble with the latter lately. Sin happens - we just need to step it up and keep running.

Been a while...

I haven't posted in a while..... I'll fix that.

Last Words

I go to this website called askaninja.com. People write in and ask a "ninja" questions and he answers them in a web cast. I think it is one of the funniest things out there. So I was watching one that struck me - http://askaninja.com/node/3079 - its called last words check it out. He goes on and does his normal funny stuff but then he says something that made me stop and think. He talks about not letting your life come down to last words. He suggest writing them down now and telling people hey - these are really my last words. Which is not an awful idea considering Pancho Villa, a Mexican revolutionary,was obviously not prepared when he said, "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." But I would like to suggest a different thing. Let the actions of your life be so loud, that at the end, no words are necessary. You don't have to say some long drawn out speech so people will remember you are certain way. Chances are, you may not know the words you are saying are your last. Even if you did manage to get some last words out that were brilliant and amazing, if it didn't match your life, it would not count. What if Chris Farley's last words were; "sorry we never laughed together," or if Hitler said, " I loved everyone." Bottom line, words don't matter, first, last or in between. Its your actions that will tell people how you really think, feel, and believe. What are you DOING to make an impact. Carl Marx had some great last words, "Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough." He said this to his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity. LIVE and DO - don't just talk.

Family Fusion

I have never been so tired in my life. As I write this, I am thankful for a slow day at work. I spent sat-wed working very hard with little break. Let me stop here and say I AM NOT COMPLAINING! I had an incredible week serving God, and serving his people so they could learn more about Him. This is my life's calling. I believe, being called into the ministry, I am called to equip God's people. I got a small dose of that this week. I would quit my job tomorrow for the opportunity to do this for life. I have struggled with getting back into the ministry. I want to so bad. The problem is many churches ask me about my college degree. I didn't exactly finish it. I have nothing against school, it's just, after a time, I felt like God was did not want me there. A lot of church people put God in a box on this. How much will it help me to finish a business degree. I have even felt pressure from church people to go back - It seems as we often times think everyone has the same plan laid out for them. If you are going into the ministry you must go to college then seminary then you get a job. It took me a long time to understand that this is not true. God has been working in me and preparing me in many different ways. He recently showed me that I have a unique perspective that a lot of ministers do not have. I know what it is like to not work in a church. I also know what it is like to work a full time job, maintain my family and still be heavily involved at church. I understand these things because I have lived them. All that to say this! I loved getting a taste of what God has for me soon. I can't wait to have nothing to do but equip the saints. I trust that God will ut me in ministry when the time is His. And the lack of a degree won't matter, because he will prepare the way. Watch Him work!!! I have been doing that all week and it is truly wonderful.

I'm Back

It's been a while since my last post. Sorry about that - not that anybody really reads this - It just feels good to talk some things out. God has been blowing my mind lately. Lately I have constantly been aware of God. And when I do have moments that I didn't think of him, I hurt and feel empty. I have missed this feeling. I went through a period of time when I didn't feel anything where God is concerned. I could go a whole week and talk about him on Sunday and feel fine. How fake is that? I am so glad to be back to where I think on God very often. With intimate relationship comes this incredible awareness of death. This overwhelming feeling that has been with me since I was a kid. I used to always try to stop thinking about it, but lately, I have embraced it. You see as humans we have a hard time with the concept of forever. Our minds don't go that far. Awareness of death is what helps us realize there is so much more than this short life. We don't like to think about it, but it is coming. You can not change it. What are you doing to impact lives with this short one you have? Where have you put emphasis? Is your job, house, status, hobby, church the most important thing in your life? It shouldn't be. As Christians we should not do one thing without thinking about the impact on eternity. You only get one shot in life. It would suck to get to heaven only to realize that God had something so much bigger for you. Even if God did alot through you, imagine if he wanted to do even more. What box have you put around yourself? What box have you put around God? One shot, One chance - If you aren't concerned with what God wants you to be - You are worthless. My pastor said something incredible this week. He told our church if you are a regular attender or a member here, and you are not doing anything, "YOU ARE DEAD WEIGHT." I was like YES. That is it. What are you doing with your life. If you are not dead - God still wants to use you. If you are dead, you aren't reading this blog. Death is coming - are you ready for God to show you what He wanted to do through you? Keep an awareness of death. Its healthy.

Crossroads...

I am at a crossroads. Do I give up? Do I lay here in the depression that has trapped me many times? God has been doing so much in my life. I feel right now He is asking me if I really trust him? Can I live what I say I believe? My answer is a loud shout of a yes. God allow this test to hit me because I will lean on you and let you bless me. I will let you show me your good a perfect will. I will let you push and pull me. I am Yours!!!! Test me and see I will follow you the rest of my days. Lack of money - means more of God to fill the gaps. Keep taking money cause God will keep filling gaps. As Job said, "I came into this world with nothing, and I will Leave this world with nothing. PRAISE BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!!!!!"

More Perspective changes

Ok, So I just got back from a mens retreat where God continued a work he started in me Friday before I even left to go on the retreat. I was cruising blogspot and found a blog from some one I knew that totally kicked me in the face. I don't know about you but God can't reach me in a nice calm way. It needs to be blunt. God's kick in the face from a blog was majorly needed.
With a spiritual gift of prophecy, I tend to see sin in others pretty easily. This is a horribly wonderful awfulness. (if you will permit me to make up words) This leads to a bad perspective problem. I begin to compare myself to these other people. I say well, God, I could be drunk and cheating on my wife. I could have killed people, I could have cussed at that person.......blah blah you get the picture. MESSED UP PERSPECTIVE!!!!!!!!!
The thing is, often times we use the 10 commandments as are guide. Believe it or not, we shouldn't. Think about this for a second. The 10 commandments were basically God setting the bar of morality at the lowest point. I mean really. God was like, "hey worship Me only cause I made you, don't make an image to worship cause that really doesn't make sense you made it and it kinda goes back to number one there. Respect my name cause that all goes back to the first one. Rest 1 day a week and remember me on it, cause everyone needs some rest. Do what your parents say. Don't lie, steal, want things just cause someone else has them, or cheat on your spouse. And don't kill anybody." I can kinda see Moses thinking, "Are you serious? Thats kinda basic." The issue is - even if you insist on using that as your standard, you probably get dinged on all 10. I will be the first to admit it... before you freak out and call my wife or the feds to report a murder conviction.... Jesus put a few amendments on those. If you hate your "brother" in your heart its murder, and if you look at someone w/ lust in your heart its adultrey. Guilty and Guilty. The other 8 hit me pretty quickly.
So where is our standard? Christ - perfection - wow! If I fail at the 10 easy ones - I certain miss perfection. To really see how spiritually shallow we are is to see how completely Holy God is!! Its not about what I have done. Its not about the sins that I didn't commit that Joey Joe Joe jr Shabado committed. It's about a Holy God, worthy of everything I have and all that I am, getting the glory He is deserved. Swallowing my pride I compare myself to perfection. To a Holy God, a place I could never really reach. God is ......God. If I compare my self to other people I lower God's standards below man's. Where does that put holiness? If I think I am spirtually mature, I am not. If I think I have it all togather, I do not. BUT... if I realize the standard to reach for is perfection, then I put myself right where I need to be. A dirty rotten sinner covered by God's grace. Begging to be use despite my sin.... not because I deserve it or am capable.

That's where I am right now.......changing my perspective.........and hopefully changing yours.

What if......

I've been dealing with a huge fear of death lately, but not like you think. I do not fear the process or what happens afterwards... I know my hope lies in Christ to spend eternity with him...but, I fear something I cannot shake from my mind. It is an intense fear... makes my skin crawl... and keeps me awake at night. Did I do all I could... did I live everyday to bring glory to Jesus Christ? Is there something else I am supposed to be doing?

This fear has increased as my perspective has changed. As a Christian, this earth will never be my home; however, we often treat it like it is. Which is one reason death seems so scary sometimes. We don't wall paper and paint hotel rooms heck, sometimes we don't decorate apartments. All because we see them as temporary. Life on this earth is more temporary than a 10 sec stay at a hotel when compared to eternity with Christ. What would change in your daily life if you really understood this concept? How would you treat others? How would you spend your time and money? God is calling us to change the way we think about earth. Time is short - there is a war to be won.

That's where I am right now.......changing my perspective.........and hopefully changing yours.